now with book reviews

Fact: The Washington Redskins were the first NFL team to have an official marching band.

Opinion:

I recently read Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol – why? it seemed like a good idea at the time.

A few things that made me really angry:

1. The Washington Monument is not the center of the city. In fact the Washington Monument isn’t even centered on the National Mall – (nerd alert: it is 11 feet off center, there was supposed to be an additional portion but funds ran low).
   1. The observation deck is not 555 feet in the air! The structure is 555 ft 5 1/5 inches tall – the observation deck is at 500 feet. If you take the tour, it says “500” on the floor! (I have pictures)
2. The Founding Fathers could not have hid the ancient secrets there because
   1. they didn’t design the National Mall to include monuments to themselves
   2. the construction of the Washington Monument took place circa the Civil War; asshole
3. The Washington Area Metro Transit Authority Metrorail system is referred to as “the metro” NOT “the subway”
   1. stand on the right WALK on the left
4. The Redskins in the playoffs? Maybe if this was written in the late 80’s
   1. DC a football town? Really?
5. You think a YouTube video of the leaders of the free world performing Masonic death rituals will bring down the government. A larger than healthy portion of the country thinks the current president faked his birth certificate; just under half the country thought Sarah Palin was qualified to be V.P. but Masonic rituals is what is going to cause a legitimacy crisis and make the American public lose faith in their government?
   1. I could really go on about actual things that have caused people to question the legitimacy of their government, only to remember that we have a government of, by and for the people and can therefore change it, but I won’t justify this book with my idealism in the Constitution.

So, it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t great. It was a novel. I just got a little mad at some of the above mentioned points – I don’t know why I just do. If you want something to do for a few hours, have at it. However, be warned I stand by my threat when the book was released: If it makes it to your “favorite books” section on facebook (or anything else) I reserve the right to defriend you. Note: I judge you if The DaVinci Code is in that section as well (I pretended to understand a few years ago, but now? really? favorite book?) – Harry Potter is perfectly acceptable but Dan Brown books are a no-no in this section.

In case you want to know what happens in more detail and you read The DaVinci Code or Angels and Daemons – simply replace Rome/Paris/Vatican City with Washington, DC and Catholic Church with Masons and Pope with Director of CIA.